Book Summary of ‘The Obstacle Is The Way’ by Ryan Holiday

Every obstacle we face on our path to greatness is unique, but our responses to them are the same.

Fear. Frustration. Confusion. Helplessness. Depression. Anger.

Why is it that some people get paralysed by these circumstances and emotions and others seem to answer the call and deal with life head on – and sometimes, to our amazement, even seem to enjoy it?

That’s what we’ll cover in Ryan Holiday’s The Obstacle Is The Way. Overcoming obstacles, Holiday tells us, is a discipline of three critical steps.

Let’s get started.

Part I: Perception

Perception is how we see and understand what occurs around us. It’s also how we decide what those events mean to us.

Our perceptions can either be a source of weakness or a source of strength. If we are emotional, subjective and shortsighted, they can be a weakness. If we can learn to limit our passions and their controls over our lives, our perceptions can become a strength.

When we are faced with an seemingly insurmountable obstacle, we must try to do the following things.

Be objective

The events in our lives – even the obstacles – are neither good or bad. They just are. We are the ones that add meaning to them. We have the choice to determine if the story we make up about an event is positive or negative.

Our tendency, especially when faced with adversity, is to choose a negative narrative. What if, instead, we chose to tell ourselves a positive story about the event?

Control emotions and keep an even keel

The emotions you feel about an event in your life are determined by the story you tell yourself about the event.

So it follows that you can also choose to keep an even keel even in the face of the most difficult of circumstances.

When panic (or any other negative emotion arises), you can feel the emotion, let it pass and then get back to work.

Choose to see the good in a situation

Once you’ve got your emotions under control, you can decide to see the good in a situation.

Just like you can make up a negative story, you can make up a positive story. One that moves you towards action instead of despair. Choose a narrative that empowers you rather than debilitates you.

Place things in perspective

As Holiday points out, perspective has two definitions.

The first is context – a sense of the larger picture of the world, not just what is immediately in front of us. The second is framing – an individual’s unique way of looking at the world, a way that interprets its events.

Both of them matter. For instance, George Clooney was rejected by Hollywood for years and his perspective was that the system was broken and they couldn’t see how talented he really was.

However, when he changed his perspective to one where the directors had a problem they needed solved – they were hoping the next person to walk in would be the right somebody – Clooney realised that he was the answer to their prayers, not the other way around.

The rest, as they say, is history. Your perspective matters.

Live in the present moment

It doesn’t matter whether or not you are in good economy or a bad one. Or whether or not a huge obstacle is lurking right around the corner. What matters is right now.

We all spend a good portion of our lives thinking about the past and the future, much to the detriment of dealing with whatever is right in front of us.

You can’t deal properly with your obstacles if you are only thinking about what should have been and what might yet come.

This isn’t touchy feely philosophical stuff – the only thing you truly have control over is what you do right now.

Focus on what can be controlled

What is in your control?

Your emotions, judgments, creativity, attitude, perspective, desires, decisions and your determination.

Focussing exclusively on what is in our power magnifies and enhances our power. Any ounce of energy directed at things we can’t actually control is wasted.

Part II: Action

Now that we’ve got our perspective and emotions under control, it’s time to take action.

Not all action is created equal. In order to be effective we need directed action – everything done in service of the whole.

We dismantle our obstacles piece by piece, with courage and creativity. We greet our obstacles with energy, persistence, a deliberate process, iteration, pragmatism and a strategic vision.

Get moving

We often get stuck when facing obstacles. Sometimes taking action seems too risky. As a result, we do nothing.

The only rule in taking action is to stay moving, always.

If you want to create momentum, you need to do it yourself. Now.

Practice Persistence

In 1878, Thomas Edison wasn’t the only person who was working on incandescent lights, but he was the only person who was willing to test six thousand different filaments – inching closer to the finish line with every test.

As Holiday points out, genius is often just persistence in disguise.

Nikola Tesla spent a year in Edison’s lab and once said that if Edison needed to find a needle in a haystack, he would simply “examine straw after straw until he found the object of his search.”


When you take action, you must keep in mind that action and failure are two sides to the same coin. You don’t get one without getting the other.

When you do fail (and you will), ask yourself what went wrong and what you could improve for the next time.

Failure is often the source of your biggest breakthroughs.

As Holiday points out, great entrepreneurs are never wedded to a position, never afraid to lose a little of their investment and never bitter or embarrassed.

They slip a thousand times. And if they fall, they always get back up.

Follow the process

Nick Saban – the coach of the powerhouse University of Alabama football team, teaches his team “The Process.”

Here’s how he puts it:

Don’t think about winning the SEC Championship. Don’t think about the national championship. Think about what you needed to do in this drill, on this play, in this moment. That’s the process. Let’s think about what we can do today, the task at hand.”

Basically, focus only on what you need to do right now and do it well. Then move on to the next thing.

The process is about finishing. Whatever you are doing right now, finish. Finish your workout. Finish games. Finish your inbox. Finish the smallest task you have in front of you right now.

Don’t worry about what will happen later, or what has already happened.

Do your job, do it right

Sir Henry Royce puts it perfectly when he says “Whatever is rightly done, however humble, is noble.”

Whatever tasks we are faced with – some prestigious and some onerous – we must respond with hard work, honesty and helping others as best we can.

What’s right is what works

The other side to the “do it right” coin is that we need to get the job done and being a pragmatist helps.

Holiday tells the story of Sam Zemurray, who was battling for a plot of land with United Fruit, a giant company many times his size. Two separate people claimed ownership of the land. United’s response was to bring a large crew of expensive lawyers to figure out who rightfully owned the land. Zemurray simply bought the land twice – once from both parties who claimed ownership.

Don’t worry about what your family, friends and society say is the right way to do things. Worry about getting the job done.

Use obstacles against themselves

As Holiday points out, Ghandi didn’t fight for independence for India. British Empire did all of the fighting and all of the losing.

Ghandi realised that he – and the Indian people – had no chance of victory by meeting force with force. Instead, he peacefully violated British rule, exaggerating his weakness in the process. The British Army had two choices – to enforce a bankrupt policy or abdicate. Ghandi had neutralised their military advantage by making its very use counterproductive.

Instead of fighting obstacles, find a means of making the obstacles beat themselves.

Channel your energy

Arthur Ashe battled segregation in the 1950s and 60s when we was on the rise in the tennis world. His father taught him to mask his emotions and feelings on the court as a defence mechanism. Instead, his father coached him, he should channel his energy into his shots.

His style was to be “physically loose and mentally tight.”

Obstacles and adversity can harden you, or it can loosen you up and make you better. Put your frustrations to good use.

Prepare for none of it to work

You can manage your perceptions and direct your action. What we can’t do is control the world around us. It’s possible that even after doing all of the right things, you’ll still fail.

Preparing yourself for that possibility gives you the freedom to act with boldness and courage.

Part III: Will

Will is our internal power. It can never be affected by the outside world, because it is completely within our control.

Will is not how badly we want something, but will is much more about surrender than strength. It is more like “God willing” than “the will to win.”

When we are placed into a situation that seems impossible to fix, we can decide to view it as a learning experience or a chance to help others. That’s will power.

The discipline of will

Most people don’t know that Abraham Lincoln suffered from crippling depression his entire life. It nearly drove him to suicide, twice.

However, because Lincoln defined his life by enduring and overcoming great difficulties, he was able to find meaning in his suffering. For him, he was destined to suffer these things so that they could forge him into the man he needed to become.

It should be no surprise that “this too shall pass” was his favourite saying.

Build your inner Citadel

It’s possible to face every external adversity you could conceivably imagine and never break down, but that capacity needs to be built. Use whatever adversity you are facing right now to prepare you for larger and scarier challenges you’ll face later.

Anticipation (thinking negatively)

These days, it’s fashionable in business to hold a pre-mortem. Basically, you think about all of the things that could go wrong with an initiative in the hopes that you solve most or all all of them before they happen.

This serves two purposes. First, it enables you to avoid some of the things that you can easily prevent. Second, it ensures that you are infrequently surprised by negative events.

Things will always go wrong. Preparing for how you will react in those cases is critical for your success.

The art of acquiescence

This is the art of accepting reality as it is. You don’t have to like or enjoy the treatment, but you know that denying it only delays the cure.

Quickly come to terms with the reality of your situation so you can get on doing the things you can actually control.

Love everything that happens – Amor Fati

When Thomas Edison was 67, a great fire broke out at his lab and factory. As he was looking on at the devastation with the hundreds of onlookers, he told his son to “Go get your mother and all her friends. They’ll never see a fire like this again.”

By loving everything that happens – Amor Fati – we turn what we must do into what we get to do.

The Stoics commanded themselves “Cheerfulness in all situations, especially the bad ones.”


As Holiday points out, there are more failures in the world due to a collapse of will than there will ever be from objectively conclusive external events.

Antonio Pigafetta was the assistant to Magellan on his trip around the world. When he reflected on what his most admirable skill was, he said that the secret to Magellan’s success was his ability to endure hunger better than the other men.

Meditate on your mortality

Nobody gets out of life alive. There is a very short list of obstacles that cannot be overcome and death comes in a #1.

When we meditate on our mortality, all of a sudden life seems very short, and we are faced with a choice.

We can live the rest of our life using the power of the principles Holiday has taught us, or we can live the rest of our life like we’ve always done and keep getting the results we’ve always got.

The choice is yours – decide today.

P.S. I need a business coach (willing to train [at my expense] the right individual with some get up and go / sales/ marketing prowess) to facilitate demand for my coaching business. If you, or someone you know, is interested, please click for more information

Book Summary of ‘Think And Grow Rich’ by Napoleon Hill

The year was 1937, and the Great Depression was ravaging the world. Things were particularly tough in the United States, where the unemployment rate was as high as 25%, up from an average of 5% before that fateful day in 1929.

So when Napoleon Hill published his book Think and Grow Rich, people ate it up. It gave them hope that they could take control of their financial future by learning and applying his 14 principles.

It sold out its first print run in three weeks, and by the time the Depression was over, it sold more than 1 million copies.

Along with How To Win Friends and Influence People (which was published a year earlier by Dale Carnegie), it became one of the first best-selling personal development books. To date it has sold over 100 million copies, and is widely considered to be one of the best personal development books ever published.

Let’s dive in to the 14 principles that Hill tells us we need to learn if we want to be rich.

Principle #1. Desire: The Starting Point of All Achievement

How bad do you really want it?

Hill tells us that the foundation of getting what we want in life is the state of mind called “a burning desire to win.”

This is different than wishing. Everybody wishes they had more money, were in better shape, and had better relationships, but successful people have a burning desire to do it, which is clear from the results they achieve.

Hill’s six-step method for turning your burning desire to succeed into becoming rich looks as follows:

  1. Be clear about the amount you want. Make it a number.
  2. Determine exactly what you intend to give in return for that amount.
  3. Establish the date you intend to have earned the amount you chose in step 1.
  4. Create your plan to make it happen and put it into motion now, even if you feel like you are not ready.
  5. Write out a clear, concise statement of the things from steps 1 through 4.
  6. Read your statement aloud twice per day – when you wake up and when you go to bed. As you read the statement, see, feel and believe that you already have the money.

Principle #2. Faith: Visualisation of and Belief In Attainment of Desire

This principle is about believing – in the very core of your being – that you will achieve the plan you have set in motion.

There must be no doubt lurking in your subconscious mind, or else you’ll find all sorts of reasons to not act on your plan.

You can train your subconscious to support you by feeding it a steady diet of positive thoughts.

In particular, you should concentrate your thoughts on two things.

First, by telling yourself that you have the ability to achieve your plan and therefore you demand of yourself persistent and continuous action toward its attainment.

Second, because your thoughts will eventually reproduce themselves in outward action, focus your thoughts on the person you intend to become.

Hill was ahead of his time on this one. There have been plenty of studies that have shown that “acting as if” can put you into more positive states of mind, causing your behaviour to change in a way that is congruent with your goals.

3. Autosuggestion: The Medium for Influencing the Subconscious Mind

This one is an extension of the second principle. Hill suggests that if we use affirmations and visualisation, we’ll be more likely to accomplish our goals.

If you want more money, the theory goes, you should visualise yourself having more money.

However, there’s a twist that Hill added here that is critical – you should also visualise yourself performing the service that you’ll give in return for those riches, causing the two things to be permanently linked in your mind.

Specifically, Hill tells us that we need to – out loud – say how much money we intend to obtain and how we intend to obtain it. We should do this twice a day – at morning and at night.

Here’s the rub – your subconscious will learn that if you want more money, you should do more of the things that will get you more money.

4. Specialised Knowledge: Personal Experiences or Observations

The only way to get rich, Hill suggests, is to have some sort of specialised knowledge that the market will value and pay for. General knowledge is of little use in your empire building.

There are two parts to this.

The first part is to identify what knowledge you need. This will change over time depending on the current state of the market. Many years ago somebody who could tell you how to use your fax machine (what’s a fax machine?) to generate leads for your business would be in high demand. Today, not so much.

The second part is to figure out how to acquire that knowledge. This requires you to have dependable sources of knowledge, which you can acquire through:

  • your own experience and education;
  • the experience and education of people in your network;
  • special training courses (Hill said night school or home study schools, although if he were alive he’d most likely say online)

Finally, the third part is to organise the information and put it into use for a definite purpose, through practical plans.

And to bring this full circle, because the marketplace is constantly changing, so must your knowledge base.

As Hill says in the book:

Successful men, in all callings, never stop acquiring specialised knowledge related to their major purpose, business or profession.

5. Imagination: The Workshop of the Mind

Man can create anything which he can imagine. That’s the crux of the fifth principle.

Hill suggests that there are two forms of imagination.

The first is synthetic imagination, which combines old ideas into new combinations.

The second is creative imagination, which is the act of creating something from nothing.

He argues that these truly new ideas and thoughts are unearthed when the conscious mind is stimulated through the emotion of a strong desire – like achieving your biggest goals and dreams, for instance.

He also makes the argument that hard work alone is not enough to bring riches. It requires the combination of ideas, definite purpose and definite plans.

The best way to have a great idea, the saying goes, is to have a lot of ideas.

6. Organised Planning: The Crystallisation of Desire Into Action

While many of today’s “self-help” books will tell you that you can manifest your reality with your mind alone, Hill was a little more practical.

If we are going to achieve our goals, we need a bulletproof plan to get there. He suggests that we create a Mastermind group to help crystallise the plan, because surrounding yourself with other people who can help you get to where you want to go is the only way to make sure your plan is truly bulletproof.

That being said, you also need to make sure you are constantly updating your plan. Temporary defeat, as Hill called it, will almost always stand between where you are today and where you want to go. Understanding this, and constantly updating your plan as you get feedback from reality, is the key to your ultimate success.

Dwight Eisenhower has an often repeated quote that helps make this point:

“Planning is everything, the plan is nothing.”

7. Decision: The Mastery of Procrastination

Procrastination is the opposite of decision. And we must fight it at every turn.

After studying the world’s most successful people and comparing them to unsuccessful people, Hill found that wealthy/successful people had a habit of reaching decisions quickly and changing them slowly, if at all.

The unsuccessful people had a habit of reaching decisions slowly and changing them quickly and often.

It’s important to keep in mind that what allows the successful people to make up their minds quickly is that they have a very clear direction of where they are headed and a plan to get there. That tends to make most decisions very easy to make.

As Hill says, “The world has the habit of making room for the man whose words and actions show that he knows where he is going.”

8. Persistence: The Sustained Effort Necessary to Induce Faith

We’ve already determined that there will be many temporary defeats along your path.

Persistence – the combination of desire and willpower – is necessary if we want to reach our goals.

“A few carry on despite all opposition, until they attain their goal. These few are the Fords, Carnegies, Rockefellers, and Edisons.”

It’s a cliché to reference Edison’s many failures in creating the light bulb and his response that “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work”, but think about it for a second – how many times are you willing to fail in pursuit of your goal? When are you willing to stop?

If your gut instinct isn’t “I will never give up”, you probably need more work on some of the other principles.

9. Power of the Mastermind: The Driving Force

The Mastermind is one of the core tenets of Hill’s teachings, and its a powerful one. He describes it as:

“coordination of knowledge and effort, in a spirit of harmony, between two or more people, for the attainment of a definite purpose.”

Through these groups, Hill suggests that “Men take on the habits and power of thought of those with whom they associate in a spirit of sympathy and harmony.”

One of the original Master Mind groups was formed by Henry Ford, Harvey Firestone, John Burroughs and Luther Burbank.

Things turned out pretty good for those guys, and since then groups of successful people (usually CEOs) get together on a regular basis to help each other solve their biggest challenges.

No matter where you are in your journey, you should consider joining or forming a group of your own.

10. The Mystery of Sex Transmutation

I’ll just come right out and say it – this one is a little (a lot?) weird.

Here it is in his words so you can judge for yourself:

“Fortunate, indeed, is the person who has discovered how to give sex emotion an outlet through some form of creative effort, for he has, by that discovery, lifted himself to the status of genius.”

What he’s saying is that if you can figure out how to channel your sexual energy into a creative/business pursuit, you’ll be more likely to become successful.

I’m going to leave this one without further comment.

11. The Subconscious Mind: The Connecting Link

This one is a little less controversial and has occupied volumes of self-help books published since.

The essence of this section is that your subconscious mind is influenced by your emotions and so you need to take great care that you expose it to positive emotions instead of negative emotions.

According to Hill there are seven positive emotions: desire, faith, love, sex, enthusiasm, romance and hope.

There are also several major negative emotions: fear, jealousy, hatred, revenge, greed, superstition and anger.

Feed your mind more positive emotions instead of negative emotions and you’ll be on the right path.

12. The Brain: A Broadcasting and Receiving Station for Thought

This section sees us return to some weird, unproven ideas. However, keep in mind that most of what Hill describes in this book would not have been proven by science at the time of publication and maybe (just maybe), he is just a little ahead of his time on this one too.

Hill used the metaphor of the radio for the brain (notice that today’s metaphor would be the computer, another thing that doesn’t adequately describe our most important organ) and that it had a “sending station” and a “receiving set.”

Basically, the premise is that we can tap into the minds of collective human intelligence by putting our minds in a state of high vibration through the application of the other principles in this book.

Until this theory is proven (please tell me there are people working on it), we’ll have to make do with the collective intelligence of the world we have access to through the wonders of the Internet.

13. The Sixth Sense: The Door to the Temple of Wisdom

In this principle Hill describes what we would today consider intuition. He believed that there is an organ in our body that received knowledge through sources other than our physical senses.

The way Hill suggests we access our intuition is creative, if nothing else.

Hill devised his own council of “Invisible Counsellors” which included the people whose traits he wanted to acquire. He held imaginary meetings in his mind with these people – which included Edison, Napoleon and Lincoln. He would imagine these meetings in vivid detail, and would later credit all of his hunches and intuition to these meetings.

Give it a shot sometime and see how you make out.

14. How to Outwit the Six Ghosts of Fear: Clearing the Brain for Riches

Finally, Hill tells us that in order to become successful, we need to clear our minds of fear, which causes indecision and doubt to creep into our daily activities.

There are six types of fear he identifies: poverty, criticism, ill health, loss of love, old age and death.

If we are worrying about these things, we are not focussing on the things we need to in order to become successful.

Because these fears are nothing more than states of mind and we have control over our mind, we can eliminate those fears by simply deciding to focus our attention elsewhere.

Sound advice that is timeless. Always good to remind ourselves of what a legend Napolean Hill was.

P.S. I need a business coach (willing to train [at my expense] the right individual with some get up and go / sales/ marketing prowess) to facilitate demand for my coaching business. If you, or someone you know, is interested, please click for more information

Book Summary of ‘Unlimited Power’ by Tony Robbins

This book is a personal development classic, written by Tony Robbins when he was 25 years old.

These are the principles that Robbins used to go from living in a 400 square foot apartment and washing his dishes in the bathtub to a millionaire many times over in less than three years.

They are the same principles that he has gone on to teach millions of people around the world in one form or another.

We live in an age with more information than we ever thought possible. If information was the answer then we would all be happy, successful and have six pack abs, but we don’t.

The missing ingredient is the ability to take massive action to work towards our most important goals. Infact, the definition of the word power is “the ability to act.”

There are seven fundamental character traits that the world’s most successful people have cultivated within themselves that give them the power to take action.

Here’s a reminder of what they are:

1. Passion

The world’s most successful people have discovered an all-consuming purpose that drives them to do more and be more.

Almost all of them tap into the power of goals and defining the outcome they are looking for.

Robbins gives us five rules for formulating our desired outcomes:

  1. State the outcome in positive terms.
  2. Be as specific as possible. How does your outcome look, see, feel and smell? Engage as many of your senses as possible.
  3. Have an evidence procedure. Know how you will look, how you will feel and what you will see when you achieve your goal.
  4. Be in control. The outcome must be created and maintained by you. Make sure you choose something you can influence directly.
  5. Verify the outcome is ecologically sound and desirable. The outcome must be one that benefits you and other people.

Now that we know the five rules for defining outcomes, we can move on to creating a master list of the things we want in our lives. There are 12 steps to this process.

  1. Make an inventory of your dreams, including the things you want to do, be and share. Don’t limit yourself – be bold.
  2. Estimate when you expect to reach the outcomes.
  3. Pick the four most important goals for you this year.
  4. Review these four goals against the five rules for outcomes to ensure that they are aligned.
  5. Make a list of the important resources you already have at your disposal. This will be your inventory of strengths, skills, resources and tools.
  6. Focus in on times you used those resources well. This will prime your mind to see yourself achieving your goals.
  7. Describe the kind of person you would have to be in order to attain your goals. Will it take discipline? Education? Something else?
  8. Write down what prevents you from having the goals now. This is helping you identify the roadblocks that might get in your way.
  9. Create a step-by-step plan on how to achieve your four goals.
  10. Come up with some models – people who have achieved great success. Write down one main idea that each of those people would say to you if they were speaking to you personally.
  11. Create your ideal day from the time you wake up until the time you go to bed. Feel what having all of your goals accomplished will be like.
  12. Design your perfect environment. Where will you be during your perfect day?

2. Belief

As Robbins points out, our beliefs about what we are and what we can be precisely determine what we will be. What you believe is possible will determine the trajectory of your life.

If we are going to model beliefs that create excellence, we need to understand how beliefs get developed in the first place.

  1. Environment. The environment you spend time in will impact what you believe is possible.
  2. Events. Some events have such a big impact on our lives that they change our brains forever.
  3. Knowledge. No matter how grim your circumstances are right now, if you read about the accomplishments of others, it can create the belief in you that you can succeed too.
  4. Past Results. Do something once and you’ll forever know you can do it again.
  5. Creating the Future in Your Mind. You can “step into your future” any time you want by creating a mental image of it.

So that’s where beliefs come from. Now let’s review the seven beliefs that Robbins suggests will help you foster excellence.

  1. Everything happens for a reason and a purpose and it serves me.
  2. There is no such thing as failure. There are only results.
  3. Whatever happens, take responsibility.
  4. I do not need to understand everything to be able to use everything.
  5. People are my greatest resource.
  6. Work is play.
  7. There is no abiding success without commitment.

3. Strategy

Now that we know where we want to go and the beliefs that will help us get there, it’s time to figure out the actions that will help us get there.

People that are able to consistently produce outstanding results follow a specific set of actions and mindsets. The quickest path to replicate their results is to adopt their actions and mindsets.

In order to create a “recipe” we can follow, we need to to have a system to describe what to do and when to do it. Robbins calls this syntax – the way people order their actions – and it makes a huge difference in the kind of results that we produce.

Here is the shorthand notation:

  • V Visual
  • A Auditory
  • K Kinesthetic
  • e external
  • i internal
  • d digital (words)
  • t tonal (tone of sound)

For instance, when you see something in the outside world, it’s represented as Ve. When you have a feeling inside, that would be represented as Ki.

The combination of those things can help you create a recipe for whatever you want to create in your life. The trick is to find the right sequence of thoughts and actions that produce the results.

So, we find somebody who has created the results we are looking for, we do something that Robbins calls “strategy elicitation.”

Here are the steps to making it work:

  1. Get the person in the appropriate state by having them remember a specific time when they felt motivated, loved, or whatever strategy you are looking to emulate. For instance, you might ask them “Can you remember a time when you were totally motivated to do something? Can you go back to that time and step back into that experience?”
  2. Ask them clear, succinct questions about the syntax of what they said, heard and felt. You might ask them “As you remember that time, what was the very first thing that caused you to be totally motivated?”
  3. Then, find out what specifically about what they were experiencing caused the person to get in that state. You might ask “After you heard that thing, what was the very next thing that caused you to be totally motivated to do something? Did you picture something in your mind? Did you say something to yourself? Did you have a certain feeling or emotion?”

As you listen to the person you are talking to, record down their answers and you’ll have yourself a recipe for getting the results you are looking to achieve.

4. Clarity of Values

Every successful person is clear about their values. Values are your own private, personal and individual beliefs about what is most important to you.

We can learn to produce the most effective behaviours, but they need to support our deepest needs and desires. Without this we have internal conflict and lack the ability to generate success on a grand scale.

Your values can change over time and have certainly changed since your childhood. You also have different values in different areas of your life.

In order to understand the most important values, do the following:

  1. Start by listing the most important areas of your life. That will likely include home, work and relationships.
  2. Then for each of those areas, ask yourself what’s important in that area. Don’t filter, just write them down.
  3. Finally, rank order the things you wrote down in that area. This will become your value hierarchy.

This is not only an important exercise to do with yourself, it’s an important exercise to do with the people in your life that are the closest to you.

5. Energy

The world’s most successful people seem to have an unending reservoir of energy. How do they do it?

They understand that your mind and your body are connected to one another in what Robbins calls a cybernetic loop.

You’ve heard the adage “act as if.” Most of the time it’s been distorted in the personal development world to mean “act as if you are rich, and you’ll become rich.” However, there’s a lot of science that proves that your physiology has a lot to do with what happens in your mind and with the state you are in and because you have complete control over your physiology (what you do with your body), you have complete control of your mental state as well.

As a simple example, if you want to feel happy, smile. Try feeling miserable while you are smiling – it’s almost impossible.

The Power of State

Robbins suggests that the key to producing the results you desire is the put yourself into a resourceful state so that you are empowered to take the types and qualities of actions that produce the desired results.

The best way to put yourself into a resourceful state is to use an anchor, which serves to trigger you into the desired state.

For instance, you could use the anchor of balling your hands into fists and screaming the word “yes!” to put yourself into a state of high energy (a little intense for me, but you get the point).

Here are the 4 steps to making it work.

  1. Put yourself in a fully associated, congruent state, with your whole body involved. Basically, to continue with the previous example, you need to put yourself in a high energy state.
  2. Set the anchor at the peak of the state.
  3. Use a unique stimulus or trigger. This should be something that you don’t do very often otherwise.
  4. Replicate the anchor exactly. If you set the anchor by touching a part of your body, you should to it in the exact some spot, with the exact same amount of pressure and so on.

6. Bonding Power

The world most successful people are masters of creating bonds with other people.

One of the ways the do this is through mirroring and matching.

You’ve heard that words only account for 7% of our communication, our tonality accounts for 38%, and our body language accounts for 55%.

That’s why when you match another person’s physiology and tonality during an encounter, you build rapport with that person in minutes.

In order to do this well, you need to look for things that you can mirror as unobtrusively and naturally as possible. As Robbins points out, if you mirror a person who has a terrible twitch, they’ll just end up thinking you are mocking them.

Once you get into a rhythm of rapport with the other person, you can start doing something called pacing and leading. This is when you gradually change your posture or tone of voice. If you’ve created rapport with them, they will naturally start to follow your lead.

7. Mastery of Communication

Successful people are masters of using communication to get what they want in business and in life.

First, they understand how to ask for what they want. Follow these five steps, and you can too:

  1. Ask specifically.
  2. Ask someone who can help you.
  3. Create value for the person you are asking.
  4. Ask with focused, congruent belief.
  5. Ask until you get what you want. Not necessarily from the same person.

Second, they understand how to deal with resistance using the agreement frame. There are three phrases you can use to get another person to see things from your point of view without any resistance:

  1. I appreciate and…
  2. I respect and…
  3. I agree and…

By replacing “but” or “however” with “and”, you completely bypass the automatic resistance other people have to those words, keeping their minds open to what comes out of your mouth next.


The principles of Unlimited Power are timeless, and if you start incorporating them into your daily and weekly routine, you’ll start to see an uplift in the results you are generating in your business and life.

Hope you found that useful. Until next time…

P.S. I need a business coach (willing to train [at my expense] the right individual with some get up and go / sales/ marketing prowess) to facilitate demand for my coaching business. If you, or someone you know, is interested, please click for more information

Book Summary of ‘The E-Myth Revisited’ by Michael Gerber

When you become an entrepreneur, there are many predictable frustrations you’ll run into:

  • Not having enough profit
  • Not enough personal income
  • Not enough customers
  • Can’t find good people
  • Don’t have enough time
  • The business depends too much on you

And the list goes on. Finding your way out of those predictable problems is difficult, if not impossible, without a system that predictably produces the opposite of those issues.

That’s where The E-Myth and the Entrepreneurial Model it promotes comes in. According to Michael Gerber, the solution involves thinking about your business like a franchise – which is a proprietary way of doing business that successfully differentiates every extraordinary business from their competitors.

This is the classic “work on your business rather than in it” advice you’ll hear repeated by business gurus. The difference is that Gerber has created step-by-step instructions on how you should get there.

Through this book and summary, you’ll find the answer to the following questions:

  1. How can I get my business to work without me?
  2. How can I get my people to work but without my constant interference?
  3. How can I systematise my business in such a way that it could be replicated 5000 times, so the 5000th unit would run as smoothly as the first?
  4. How can I own my business and still be free of it?
  5. How can I spend my time doing the work I love to do rather than the work I have to do?

Understanding the Rules

Here are the rules you’ll need to follow in order to get your business running like a franchise that produces predictable results:

  1. The model will provide consistent value to your customers, employees, suppliers and lenders, beyond what they expect.
  2. The model will be operated by people with the lowest possible level of skill.
  3. The model will stand out as a place of impeccable order.
  4. All work in the model will be documented in Operations Manuals.
  5. The model will provide a uniformly predictable service to the customer.
  6. The model will utilise a uniform colour, dress and facilities code.

There are 7 distinct steps to get there, which I’ll cover in turn.

1. Your Primary Aim

Every entrepreneur starts a business for themselves, but we often get so tied up in the business that we forget that the ultimate aim of the business is to serve ourselves.

Here are the questions you need to answer with 100% clarity if you want your business to serve you and not the other way around.

  1. What do I wish my life to look like?
  2. How do I wish my life to be on a day-to-day basis?
  3. What would I like to be able to say I truly know in my life, about my life?
  4. How would I like to be with other people in my life – my family, friends, business associates, customers, employees, and community?
  5. How would I like people to think about me?
  6. What would I like to be doing two years from now? Ten years? Twenty years? When my life comes to a close?
  7. What specifically would I like to learn during my life – spiritually, physically, financially, technically, intellectually? About relationships?
  8. How much money will I need to do the things I wish to do? By when will I need it?

2. Your Strategic Objective

Your Strategic Objective is a clear statement of what your business ultimately has to do in order to achieve your Primary Aim.

It’s a list of standards you can use to measure your progress towards your ultimate goal.

There are many standards you could include, but Gerber suggests that the first two on the list should be as follows.

First, you need to be clear on how much money your company will make when it is ultimately “done.” Will it be a $1 million a year company? A $500 million a year company? Something else? How much after-tax profit will it make? That’s the money you are going to use to build the life that you want through your Primary Aim.

Second, you need to build a business that can fulfill the financial standards you’ve set with the first standards. It tells you what kind of business you are creating and defines who your customer will be.

From there, there are no specific number of standards that need to be created, but it will help if you answer some of the following questions:

  • When is the ultimate version of your company (Gerber calls this the prototype) going to be finished?
  • Where are you going to be in business? Locally? Regionally? Internationally?
  • What type of business are you going to be? Retail? Wholesale? Something else?

The standards that you create for your business will ultimately become the business you strive to create. Many entrepreneurs skip this step when they start and never climb their way out of day-to-day operations of their business.

3. Your Organisational Strategy

Gerber reminds us that most companies organise themselves around personalities rather than around functions and the result, he suggests, is almost always chaos.

The next logical step in building your business prototype is to determine the exact organisational structure you’ll need in order to execute on your strategic objective.

Here’s how you’ll do it.

  1. Build an organisational chart for what your business will ultimately look like. For instance, you might need a CEO (which may or may not be you), a COO, a VP of Sales, account managers and so on.
  2. Put your name in all of the positions that you currently fill. When you are starting out, this will likely be all of them.
  3. Create very detailed descriptions of each one of the positions, which Gerber calls Position Contracts. This is a summary of the results that need to be achieved by each position in the company, the work the person is responsible for, a list of standards that the results are to be evaluated against, and a line for the signature of the person who agrees to fulfil those responsibilities.
  4. Sign your name to each of the contracts you currently fill.

The insight here is that you should create the system inside your business based on the standards you want to set, rather than letting other people do it for you.

In order to free yourself up to work on the strategic parts of the business, you need to rest easy knowing that the tactical parts of the business are being taken care of.

For instance, you don’t place an ad for a salesperson until you’ve created the Sales Operations Manual for the company.

Once you’ve created the position contracts for each of the roles in the company, you’ll know exactly which standards you need to be hiring against.

4. Your Management Strategy

Now that you have your organisational strategy created, you can move on to your management strategy.

Gerber suggests that our management strategy is the system we create for the business. It shouldn’t and can’t rely on expensive and talented people. The more automatic and specific your system is, the more effective it will be.

At its core, it is a series of checklists for everything that needs to be done inside the business.

For example, a hotel would have a series of checklists for the people who clean the rooms and another series of checklists for the people responsible for checking guests in and so on.

Finally, you should have a mechanism built into your system for following up on making sure that the work in the checklists is done properly.

For instance, you could have your people sign a checklist at the end of each job letting the company know that the work had been completed based on the steps required and then make it a fireable offence for signing off on work that hadn’t been completed.

The benefits of a system like this are clear. You’ll be able to hire and train new people so that they’ll quickly be performing the tasks and producing identical results to people who have been doing them for a long time.

5. Your People Strategy

At the heart of your people strategy is creating an environment where “doing it” is more important to them than not doing it.

One of the key parts to making this happen is to ensure that the people you hire understand the reason behind the work they are being asked to do.

As Gerber points out, people do not simply want to work for exciting people. They want to work for people who have created a clearly defined structure for acting in the world. A structure through which they can test themselves and be tested.

In short, a game. The key, of course, is to make sure you are creating a game worth playing.

Gerber describes the “game” a hotel owner had created where his hotel become a world in which the sensory experiences of his customer were greeted by a profound dedication to cleanliness, beauty and order.

This went beyond the commercial justification and extended into the worldview the owner of the hotel had. It was then communicated to his employees in both words and actions.

He communicated his idea through the systems they documented for running the business and through his warm, caring manner.

Importantly, he set the tone for this game at the beginning of his relationship with his employees – before they were hired.

There were 5 distinct components to the hiring process:

  1. A scripted presentation communicating the ‘boss’ idea in a group meeting to all the applicants at the same time. It described his idea, but also the history of the business and their success in implementing the idea and what would be required for the successful candidate for the position.
  2. Then he met with each applicant individually to discuss their reactions to his idea and ask them why they thought they would be a good fit to implement the idea.
  3. He notified the successful candidate by phone with a scripted presentation.
  4. He notified the unsuccessful applicants, thanking them for their interest.
  5. On the first day of training, the boss did the following:
  • Reviewed the ‘boss’ idea;
  • Summarised the system through which the entire business brings that idea to reality;
  • Took the new employee on a tour of the facility, highlighting the people and systems that bring the idea to life;
  • Answered the employee’s questions clearly and fully;
  • Reviewed the Operations Manual with the employee, including the Strategic Objective, the Organisation Strategy and the Position Contract for the employee’s position.
  • Completed the employment papers.

This is how you bring the core values of your business to life.

6. Your Marketing Strategy

Your marketing strategy lives and dies with what your customer wants and how you deliver it to them.

Understanding what your customer wants depends on you understanding the two pillars of a successful marketing strategy – the demographics and psychographics of your customers.

When you first start your business, you’ll already have defined the demographics of your customers. Your next job is to figure out as much of the psychographics for that segment of the market as possible.

What other brands do they buy? How are those companies – who are already successfully selling to those people – sell to them? What colours do they use? What messages are they sending? What values do they seem to be promoting?

Then, you’ll take all of that information and figure out what your business must be in the mind of those customers in order for them to choose you over everybody else.

Finally, you’ll make a promise your customer wants to hear and then align your entire organisation around delivering on that promise better than anyone else on the block.

Of course, as your company continues to grow, you’ll continue to learn about the demographics and psychographics of your customers and continue to iterate on your marketing strategy over time.

7. Systems Strategy

The last piece of the puzzle in building your business is your systems strategy. There are 3 kinds of systems.

Hard systems are inanimate, unliving things. Soft systems are either living things, or ideas. The core of the book and summary so far have been a combination of those two systems.

The third system is the information system, which provides us with information about the interaction between the other two.

As an example, if you have a sales system that tracks the sales steps from beginning to end (you should), you would be tracking some or all of the following items:

  • How many calls were made?
  • How many prospects were reached?
  • How many appointments were scheduled?
  • How many appointments were confirmed?
  • How many appointments were held?
  • How many Needs Analysis Presentations were scheduled?
  • How many Needs Analysis were confirmed?
  • How many Needs Analysis were completed?
  • How many Solutions Presentations were scheduled?
  • How many Solutions Presentations were confirmed?
  • How many Solutions Presentations were completed?
  • How many solutions were sold?
  • What was the average dollar value?

In short, the information system should tell you everything you need to know about how your people are performing, so that you can meet your strategic objectives, so that you can meet your primary aim.

Always good to revisit this timeless work by Michael Gerber. Hope you found it useful…

P.S. I need a business coach (willing to train [at my expense] the right individual with some get up and go / sales/ marketing prowess) to facilitate demand for my coaching business. If you, or someone you know, is interested, please click for more information

Book Summary of ‘Brief’ by Joseph McCormack

We live in an attention-deficit economy, and being brief is both desperately needed and rarely delivered.

When we are not clear and concise, there are consequences. Time, money and resources are wasted. Decisions are made in confusion, great ideas don’t get pursued, and deals take far too long to close.

This book is all about getting your story straight, and then getting to the point. Quickly.

As author Joseph McCormack points out – it’s like Six Sigma for your mouth.

Let’s get started.

Why Brevity Is Vital

These days, everybody is busy. Especially executives. Your rambling marketing message or sales pitch is likely to get lost in the daily flood of information they struggle to stay on top of.

As McCormack points out, being brief is not just about time. The more important point is how it feels to the audience. It’s not about using the least amount of time. It’s about making the most of the time you have.

There are three things you need in order to adhere to the principles of brevity – be concise, clear and compelling. What follows naturally from this is that you also need to have a through understanding of your subject matter.

Mindful of Mind-filled-ness

Living in a world full of distractions means that the people around you are mentally stretched. That makes getting to your point before your audience gets distracted an imperative.

There are 4 main sources of pressure your audience is battling as you try and get your point across:

  1. Information overload, which has gotten worse as social media and email invades our lives more and more every day;
  2. Inattention, causing them to struggle with paying attention longer than 10 seconds at a time;
  3. Interruptions, which means that there are many different things competing for attention at all times;
  4. Impatience for creating results, which causes people to be stressed almost all the time.

Here’s the point. Even if you are given 30 minutes to make a presentation, you have far less than that before your audience tunes you out.

Why You Struggle with Brevity: The Seven Capital Sins

In spite of the evidence that brevity is a necessity in today’s world, it turns out to be difficult to master because of what McCormack calls the “seven capital sins.”

  1. Cowardice. You don’t have the guts to be clear and take a stand on the issue, so you mask your message in mounds of jargon and buzzwords.
  2. Confidence. You know the material so well and can’t help explaining it in painful detail.
  3. Callousness. You don’t respect people’s time. When you say “this will only take a minute”, it ends up taking many times that.
  4. Comfort. When you are comfortable with an audience, you let yourself get wordy and drag the story out.
  5. Confusion. You tend to do your thinking out loud, not mindful that your audience would rather hear the finished product.
  6. Complication. You think that the issue is really complicated, missing the point that your job is to simplify it for people.
  7. Carelessness. You don’t think about what you are going to say deeply enough and so your message gets mixed up.

Brevity Tool #1: BRIEF Maps

People who start to gain experience in making presentations and sales pitches mistakenly abandon outlines, thinking they are a tool that only rookies use.

Professionals understand that an outline is critical to their success. McCormack tells us that there are five immediate benefits you’ll get by using them.

Outlines keep you:

  • Prepared, so you are ready to deliver your message.
  • Organised, so you understand how all of your ideas connect.
  • Clear, so you are certain what your point is.
  • Contextual, so you can draw a bigger picture so your point stands out.
  • Confident, so that you know what to say, inside and out.

The BRIEF way to do an outline is organised as follows:

  • B: Background or beginning;
  • R: Reason or relevance;
  • I: Information for inclusion;
  • E: Ending or conclusion;
  • F: Follow-up or questions you expect to be asked or that you might ask;

This format can be used for anything you need to present – from an important project update to your team to the most important sales pitch of your life.

Now that we’ve covered how to outline your message, let’s move on to how to deliver it.

Brevity Tool #2: The Role of Narratives

Bore your audience to death with corporate-speak and they’ll tune you out faster than you can say “next slide”, but tell them a good story and they’ll gladly give you their undivided attention.

McCormack introduces us to the idea of the Narrative Map to help us do just that. There are five elements in the map.

The focal point

This is the central part of the story and tells the audience what it’s about. For instance, at the beginning of his presentation launching the iPhone, Steve Jobs said “Today, Apple is going to reinvent the phone.”

Setup or challenge

In the context of a marketing or sales message, this is the challenge, conflict, or issue in the marketplace that your organisation is addressing. Every great story includes a dragon that needs to be slayed.


This is about communicating the opportunity that the challenge poses. Some people call this an unmet need or an aha moment.


Now we move on to how the story unfolds. This is the how, where and when of your story, describing how you’ll solve the problem or take advantage of the opportunity. There are usually three or four key points to be made here.


All good stories include a payoff at the end. This is where you paint the picture of what life looks like for your audience after your solution is implemented.

So that’s how you outline and then craft a narrative that gets communicated clearly, concisely and powerfully.

Let’s now move our attention to a method for being clear in our every day conversations with the people around us.

Brevity Tool #3: Controlled Conversations and TALC Tracks

As McCormack points out, if we are undisciplined in how we present information, we are even more undisciplined in how we have our daily conversations.

Being brief in a conversational setting means shifting from endless monologues to what he calls having controlled conversations. These conversations have a rhythm, a purpose and a point.

In order to get conversations right, there are things you need to do, and things you need to avoid.

Let’s start with the three common mistakes that draw people into long, unwieldy conversations:

  1. Passive listening: Letting the other person babble on about everything and say nothing. As a result, there is no control.
  2. Waiting your turn: Letting the person talk, then jumping in to say your part. As a result, two separate conversations are happening.
  3. Impulsively reacting: Responding to a word or thought the other person said. As a result, there is no clear direction in the conversation.

Now let’s move to a structure for balance and brevity. McCormack calls these TALC Tracks.

T is for Talk

Somebody in the conversation starts talking. It could be you or the other person. There are two things to consider at this stage:

  1. Be prepared to say something when the other person finishes speaking.
  2. Make sure your response has a clear point.

AL is for Actively Listen

Listen closely to what the other person is saying the entire time. Don’t zone out, multitask, or otherwise take your attention off the other person. There are two things to consider at this stage:

  1. Ask open-ended questions related to what you heard.
  2. Dig deeper into the parts of the topic you are genuinely interested in.

C is for Converse

When a natural pause happens in the conversation, it’s your turn to jump in with a comment, question, or sometimes a bridge to another topic. There are three things for you to consider at this stage:

  1. Don’t use your turn to start a new conversation.
  2. Keep your responses short.
  3. Know when to stop so the other person can start talking again.

When and Where to be Brief

Now that we’ve covered the foundations of how to be brief, let’s go into some specific examples of when and where to be brief.

In Meetings

We all know that meetings suck. There are three villains that you need to slay in order to make them suck less.

  1. Time. Reduce the amount of time devoted to them. Put the BRIEF back in briefings.
  2. Type. Consider a standing meeting, or a meeting with no table. And most importantly, meetings should be more like a conversation than a presentation.
  3. Tyrants. Making sure that no one person dominates your meetings. That includes outside presenters.

Social Media

McCormack suggests that we create social media posts and emails that respect a busy executive’s time. That almost always means making things shorter.


The best way to deliver a presentation is to first understand what your audience wants to hear, then speak to those things and those things only.

Job Interviews

Nobody likes job interviews and that includes the person doing the hiring. When you are the candidate, create a BRIEF Map that quickly explains why you are qualified. Then, tell a story that shares some of your past successes that demonstrate what your potential employer is looking for.

Sharing Good and Bad News

When you are sharing good or bad news with your team, always get to the point quickly. Then, let some time for the news to sink in and leave time for them to ask questions.

When you are delivering bad news in particular, consider three important issues:

  1. Problems. State bad news simply and clearly, without pulling punches.
  2. Causes. State the real reasons for the bad news so people know what’s happening.
  3. Possibility. Take advantage of tough situations to have a heart-to-heart.


Everybody is busy. The world is begging you to get to the point quickly.

As Franklin D. Roosevelt once famously said:

“Be sincere, Be brief, Be seated.”

I hope you found that summary useful and I look forward to sharing another great book with you next week.

P.S. I need a business coach (willing to train [at my expense] the right individual with some get up and go / sales/ marketing prowess) to facilitate demand for my coaching business. If you, or someone you know, is interested, please click for more information

Book Summary of ‘They Ask, You Answer’ by Marcus Sheridan

When Marcus Sheridan graduated university in 2001, he joined two of his friends who were starting a swimming pool company.

For the next seven years, business was good. With real estate prices rising to historic levels, anybody could get a loan for a swimming pool. Many did.

As you might have predicted, the wheels started to fall off in 2008 when the economy crashed.

Pushed to the brink of bankruptcy, Sheridan was forced to find a way out, and he found it in a simple but powerful content marketing strategy he calls They Ask, You Answer.

He used it to save the company, ultimately generating millions of dollars in new sales directly attributable to the methodology you are about to learn.

Join me for the next 10 minutes as we explore how you can do the same for your business, no matter the size of your company or the industry you compete in.

A Massive Buying Shift and the Blur between Sales and Marketing

Before we move on to the principles of Sheridan’s system, we need to cover a couple of important points.

First, consumer buying patterns have gone through a monumental shift over the past decade. As Sheridan points out, multiple studies show that the vast majority (Sheridan tells us that it’s 70%) of the buying decision is made before a prospect talks to a company. This is consistent no matter what market you are in. Large, small, B2B or B2C.

Second, you might be inclined to think that the lessons you are about to learn don’t apply to your specific business or industry niche. Everybody believes that their business is the one exception to the rule – that the people in your industry don’t buy the way this system suggests they do. Ultimately that’s up for you to decide, but there’s only one way to find out for sure and that’s to try it.

“They Ask, You Answer” Defined

At the core of They Ask, You Answer is an obsession with what your customer is thinking, searching, asking, feeling and fearing.

As Sheridan was pondering how to save his company, he sat down at his kitchen table late one night and brainstormed all the questions he had received about fiberglass swimming pools over the previous nine years.

When he was finished he had more than a hundred questions listed on the piece of paper.

Then, as you might have guessed, he and his business partners set off to answer each one of them in a blog post or video. Most of the articles were published to their website as blog posts, with the title of the question becoming the title of the post.

These weren’t one or two sentence answers – these were real answers with deep explanations and they weren’t glorified sales pitches – they approached each answer with a “teacher’s” mentality – answering without bias and only trying to educate the readers.

As Sheridan points out, every single industry has hundreds of buyer-based questions. So it’s ironic that most company websites don’t even address more than a few of them.

If you find yourself thinking “there’s no way our buyers have that many questions,” this means you’ve lost touch with your customers and you need to start learning what your ideal customer wants to know.

After a few months of doing this with his pool company, Sheridan started to look at the web analytics on their website to determine what was working and which content was generating the most traction.

He found that there were five types of content that seemed to generate the most interest and buying behaviours:

  • Pricing and Costs
  • Problems
  • Versus and Comparisons
  • Reviews
  • Best in Class

Why were those the ones that moved the needle the most? Because those are the issues that we (and all consumers) obsess over when considering a purchase. Most businesses hide from those questions or only deal with them when face-to-face with a customer, but not Sheridan and from this day forward, not you.

Let’s cover each of them in turn.

Content Subject #1: Pricing and Costs

If you’ve ever gone on a website to research a product and couldn’t find pricing information, you’ve likely felt what Sheridan calls the “F-word of the Internet”: frustration.

Most companies resist putting pricing information in their website because of one of three reasons.

Every solution is different

Yes, it’s true that your pricing might vary from customer to customer depending on their needs, but no matter what business you are in, it’s possible to give your prospects a range of probable prices. At the very least, you’ll what to give your customers a sense of how pricing works in your industry.

Your competitors will find out what you charge

It’s unlikely that your competitors have no clue what you charge.

You’ll scare your customers away

Sheridan makes two great points here. First, if your customer can’t afford your product, there’s little to no chance that you’ll convince them on a sales call. Second, talking about price is not about affordability, it’s about psychology. You are more likely to trust a business that’s upfront about their pricing.

So instead of hiding behind one of those excuses, be willing to specifically address the main pricing questions you get.

Create a list of all the major products and/or services you sell. For the ones that generate the most revenue for you, produce at least one blog post or video explaining the factors that dictate the cost, what the prospect can expect to see in the industry, and where your company lands.

An article that Sheridan posted titled “How Much Does a Fibreglass Pool Cost?” has generated $3 million in additional sales, directly attributable to the article.

In fact, that single post single handedly saved his business, his home, the homes of his business partners and the jobs of all of their employees.

Content Subject #2: Problems

This content subject is all about turning weaknesses into strengths.

When people buy, their instinct is to worry more about what might go wrong than what might go right. They know that they can go to your website to find out all the great things that will happen if they buy from you – that’s what they get from every website they visit.

For instance, Sheridan tells the story of how somebody might decide between getting a fibreglass pool or a concrete pool. For years his prospects would ask him something along the lines of “what are the problems with a fibreglass swimming pool?” and, you can be fairly certain that whatever questions people ask you in person, they’ll search for online as well.

That’s why they ended up writing a post titled “Top 5 Fibreglass Pool Problems and Solutions.”

Everybody in the pool industry thought they were crazy for writing that post. How many of their competitors had that information on their website? Zero. How many prospects wanted to know the answer to that question? All of them.

When considering whether or not to address the elephant in the room, you need to make a choice. You can allow them to search for and find the answers to those questions themselves, or you can address them directly and allow your customers to determine whether or not it’s an issue for them.

Aside from creating a level of trust your competitors won’t dare match, doing this has two advantages.

First, you get the opportunity to explain why, in spite of the problems, your product/service would be a good fit for the prospect. For instance, one of the drawbacks to a fiberglass pool is that it might not be long, deep or as wide as customer might like, but if lower maintenance and a pool that will last a lifetime are more important to the prospect, it might be worth the tradeoff. This turns your weakness into a strength.

Second, you eliminate people from your sales and marketing funnel that will never become customers in the first place, freeing you to pay closer attention to those that might. If they’ll find out the problems eventually (they will), they might as well find out now.

Content Subject #3: Versus and Comparisons

The third major content subject is something that we, as consumers, are fascinated with: comparisons. This versus that.

Over the years, Sheridan and his colleagues had heard the same question from their prospects for years: what’s the difference between a fibreglass pool and a concrete pool?

So, they wrote a post titled “Fibreglass Pools vs Vinyl Liner Pools vs Concrete Pools: An Honest Comparison.”

Again, the temptation here is to avoid bringing these types of questions up. Why address problems that some of your prospects might not even consider?

Two of the reasons we covered in the previous section – turning weaknesses into strengths and using marketing to eliminate bad leads.

The other two reasons are traffic and trust.

If people are thinking about these questions they are searching for the answers online. Would you rather they come to you for the answer, or some third party site that lets other (sometimes misinformed) consumers answer it for you? To top it off, search engines love this type of content and serve it much higher in the rankings than self-serving sales messaging.

When your prospect sees that you are open and honest, they are more likely to trust you during the rest of the sales process and you are more likely to make a sale.

Here’s what to do next.

Write down every question you’ve ever received from a prospect that asks you to compare two or more things. This includes obvious things like something you sell vs. a competitor’s product and less obvious things like things that you nor your competitors sell.

After you’ve made that list, write your answers and start turning them into blog posts, e-books, webinars and so on.

Content Subjects 4 and 5: Reviews and Best in Class

Let’s start this section by saying that what you are about to hear is going to seem crazy, but, just like the other tactics you’ve learned about so far, they will work if you embrace them.

One of the questions that people always ask is “who is the best _____?” So, in true They Ask, Your Answer form, Sheridan wrote a blog post titled “Who are the Best Pool Builders in Richmond Virginia (Reviews/Ratings).”

He listed the five companies he truly believed were the best and, for good measure, he neglected to include his own company. That’s the part I told you might seem crazy. Why would he do that?

The first reason is as soon as you put yourself on that list, you lose all credibility. It becomes a puff piece and you jeopardise the trust you are trying to build with this strategy.

The second reason is less obvious, but even more important. Where are those prospects when they are reading this post? They are on your website. Not your competitors website, or a third party website. This means that you control the messaging and while you don’t want to include your company in the list, you can position yourself as the expert. Tell them about all of the other great content on your website relating to their questions. You’ve just welcomed them to your front door, don’t be afraid to invite them in for a tour of the house.

Go ahead and Google “best pool builders richmond va” to see how Sheridan expertly crafted that specific post.

Hope you found that useful. Until next time….

P.S. I need a business coach (willing to train [at my expense] the right individual with some get up and go / sales/ marketing prowess) to facilitate demand for my coaching business. If you, or someone you know, is interested, please click for more information

Book Summary of ‘Focus’ by Daniel Goleman

In many ways, the things you pay attention to and focus on drives your success in life.

Without focus, it would be impossible for us to live in the modern world. At the same time, the world we live in is so ripe with distractions that it’s becoming increasingly difficult to keep our focus on any one thing for long periods of time.

Emotional intelligence pioneer Daniel Goleman tells us that there are three different types of focus: inner, other and outer. Goleman tells us that a well lived life demands that we be nimble in each.

By understanding and developing our skills in those three areas, we can improve our results in any area of our lives.

Let’s explore how to do just that.

The Anatomy of Attention

In order to understand focus, we need to first understand how attention works.

The best place to start is with the things that break our focus – distractions.

In today’s world, there are plenty of things to distract us from focussing on the things we need in order to succeed.

The two distractions

There are two main types of distractions – sensory and emotional.

Sensory distractions are easy to identify and to some extent, manage. For instance, when you are reading you tune out almost everything that is going on around you. Your brain weeds out the continuous flood of background sounds, shapes, colours, smells and so on.

Emotional distractions are harder to identify and much harder to manage. The biggest challenge comes from the emotional turmoil in our lives. Trying to focus on your work after you’ve had a blow up with a family member at home is all but impossible.

The two systems

Just as there are two types of distractions that can cause us to lose our focus, the brain has two systems that it operates.

First we have the bottom-up mind, which is:

  • fast and operates in milliseconds;
  • involuntary and always-on;
  • intuitive, operating through networks of association;
  • impulsive, driven by emotions;
  • the executor of our habits and guides our actions;
  • the manager of our mental models of the world.

Second, we have the top-down mind, which is:

  • slower;
  • voluntary;
  • effortful;
  • the seat of self-control, which can (sometimes) overpower automatic routines and emotionally driven impulses;
  • able to learn new models, make new plans and take charge of our automatic repertoire – to an extent.

Our voluntary attention, willpower and intentional choices are all top-down. Our reflexive attention, impulses and habits are all bottom-up. Because of that, our mind is doing a continual dance between stimulus-driven attention and voluntary focus.

However, because your brain likes to conserve energy, it prefers using the bottom-up system. Any time we use the top-down system, we end up burning energy. That’s why learning new things or creating change in your life is hard – your brain doesn’t want you to do it because it’s easier not to.

When your mind is adrift

Your mind naturally wanders. If you ask people the question “are you thinking about something you are not currently doing?”, there’s a fifty-fifty chance that they’ll answer yes.

This obviously has implications for your ability to be “in the moment” and focus on the task at hand and it’s exactly why so much time, energy and money is focused on the concept of mindfulness. As pioneer of American psychology William James put it, “the voluntary bringing back of a wandering attention, over and over again, is the very root of judgment, character and will.”

However, even a wandering mind has its uses. That’s because your daydreams are often focused on solving unresolved problems. It also allows for the exploration of previously unconnected ideas, which is the source of all creativity.

Your goal is to be able to engage in mind wandering when you want to and focused on the task at hand when you want to.

That may sound trivial, but it’s an important point. You only have the ability to remain focused for a finite amount of time and then you need to recharge your brain’s batteries, so to speak.

And as Goleman points out, surfing the web (no matter how mindlessly), playing video games or answering email doesn’t do the trick. However, things like taking a walk in nature and – you guessed it – meditation work perfectly.

Inner Focus: Self-Awareness

Now that we’ve covered how attention works, it’s time to move on the first area of focus you need to master – yourself.


Self-awareness and in particular the decoding of the internal cues that our bodies give us – holds the key to making great decisions in life.

There are two major streams of self-awareness.

“Me,” which is the part of you that creates stories about your past and future based on the sum total of your life experiences to date.

Then there is the “I,” which exists in the moment. This is the part of you that is in tune with your body, which helps you to determine whether or not a decision “feels” right.

Being aware of both the narratives you’ve built up over your life (so you can change them) and being in tune with your body are the two main ways you can continue to become more self-aware.

Seeing ourselves as others see us

No matter how good you get at self-awareness, you still won’t be able to get a complete picture until you see yourself as other people see you.

One surefire way to get an accurate view is to do a 360-degree evaluation, where you asked to rate yourself on a number of factors and then those self-ratings are checked against other people who have rated you for the same things.

Interestingly, studies have shown that the further up the organisational food chain you are, the greater the gap between the scores you give yourself and the scores other people give you.

Assuming that you are a leader (or want to be one some day), continually checking these types of ratings will help you understand how you are perceived.

You’ll also want to consider getting advice from people you trust whenever you are making big decisions in your life – they will help you cover up your blind spots.


We won’t spend a ton of time on this, but your amount of willpower determines a lot about your success in life. Numerous studies show that children who exhibit high amounts of willpower go on to make more money and make better decisions about their health. They even commit less crime, if that’s something you’ve been losing sleep over.

At its core, willpower is the ability to remain focused on one thing while your impulses or desires are distracting you.

When an impulse is distracting you – lets say there is a plate of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies on the table – your reward circuits are focused on what’s tempting about them – they are chewy, hot and delicious.

Here’s what’s interesting – just by shifting your focus onto something different about the cookies – they are round, have dots on them, and are made in an oven – you have switched your focus and lowered the chances of you reaching for the cookie and eating it.

Becoming aware of how and why things tempt you and actively shifting your attention away from those things when they happen (self awareness at its best), will help you make better decisions

Other Focus: Reading Others

Empathy is the ability to focus on what other people experience. There are three main varieties.

Cognitive empathy lets you take another person’s perspective, comprehend their emotional state and manage your own emotions while you evaluate theirs. These are mostly top-down operations.

Emotional empathy is when you feel what the other person is feeling. This is a bottom-up process, and mostly formed during infancy – you are wired to feel another person’s joy or pain even before you can think about it.

Finally there is empathic concern which takes this one step further by leading us to care about the other person and to take action if the situation calls for it. This is both a bottom-up (automatic) and top-down (thoughtful) function and getting the mix right has implications for your life.

For instance, many people who stir up too many sympathetic feelings for other people end up suffering themselves, to the point of losing their ability to take action.

On the flip side, other people who show no sympathy for others (either naturally or by training) lose the ability to put themselves in other people’s shoes and also lose the ability to read other people’s emotional cues – a great predictor of success in most professions.

The best way you can practice reading other people, it turns out, is to amp up your empathic concern to a level that allows you to connect with the other person, but not so much that you lose the ability to control the emotions you feel by doing so.

Outer Focus: The Bigger Context

The last area of focus to explore is the bigger context.

In order to understand the bigger picture in things requires us to understand patterns and systems.

Systems, Goleman points out, are invisible to the naked eye. As a human, we all struggle with system blindness. We are very bad at understanding things where the cause and effect are distant in time and space. Because of that, many of our solutions work in the short-term, but in the long-run end up making problems worse.

Here’s an example. The simple and obvious solution for traffic jams is to build more and wider roads. In the short-term (after the roads are built), it’s easier to get around, but very quickly, people start making more car trips, moving further away and buy more cars. Making the long-run traffic problem worse.

This means that human beings have a very tough time grasping the concept of threats that come over an even longer time horizon like global warming.

Rather than focus on the negatives (like our carbon footprint), Goleman suggests, we should focus on the positives in our actions, which we can see in the here and now.

The reason this is a better approach is that negative emotions are poor motivators in the long run – we are wired to want to avoid them. Positive emotions, on the other hand, are great motivators and can be sustained for long periods of time.

The Well-Focused Leader

Ultimately, how you put all of this together as a leader will have a huge impact on your team’s success or failure.

As the preceding sections show, we all have a limited amount of focus to direct on achieving our goals. Directing that focus where it’s needed most is your most important leadership activity.

As Goleman points out, organisations need leaders with a focus on generating results. However, those results will be more robust in the long run when leaders don’t just tell people what to do or do it themselves. Instead, leaders need an other focus, motivated to help other people be successful too.

The more you widen your focus to include inner, other and outer inputs, the more effective and well rounded your leadership style will be.

Hope you found this summary useful. Until next time…

P.S. I need a business coach (willing to train [at my expense] the right individual with some get up and go / sales/ marketing/ coaching prowess) to facilitate demand for my coaching business. If you, or someone you know, is interested, please click for more information

Book Summary of ‘Stumbling Upon Happiness’ by Daniel Gilbert

As human beings we spend a lot of time predicting what will make us happy in the future. For some of us it’s the family vacation we’ve always dreamed of, for others it’s the new car we’ve had our eyes on for years, and others it’s finally paying off the mortgage on their home.

Dan Gilbert makes the argument that we are particularly bad at this task, for three main reasons.

First, our imaginations don’t give us and accurate preview of what our emotional futures will be because our brains fill in and leave out important details about the future.

Second, we naturally project our current feelings into a future that will not necessarily exist.

Third, we forget that things will look differently once they happen in the future.

The antidote, Gilbert suggests, is something that most of us will ignore. Let’s explore why we are not very good at predicting what will make us happy and uncover the secret to doing it right.

Why we think about the future: Prospection

Here’s a remarkable fact: human beings are the only creatures on earth that think about the future. This is something that Gilbert calls nexting.

The first type of nexting is a survival mechanism and happens immediately and unconsciously. For instance, if you’ve ever been walking on a trail and heard the sound of a rattlesnake, your first instinct will be to move away from the sound as fast as you possibly can. These instincts are built deep into your caveman brain.

The other type of nexting is more about long range planning, like thinking about where you want to retire, or what you’ll eat for lunch next week at that restaurant you’ve always wanted to go to. This type of nexting occurs in our frontal lobes and allows us to think about the future before it happens. There are a few reasons we do this:

  • It’s pleasurable: by thinking about something you’ll enjoy in the future, you get to experience it twice – first in your imagination, and then in real life.
  • To protect ourselves: we anticipate negative events so that we can minimise their impact or eliminate them entirely.
  • To exercise control: we have a fundamental desire to control our own destiny and thinking about and planning our future allows us to fill that need.

Which is all fine and dandy, except for the part that we are not very good at it. Which leads us to make choices that work against our ultimate happiness.

Shortcoming #1 – Realism: Filling In and Leaving Out

The first shortcoming of our imagination in predicting what will make us happy is that we fill in the details inaccurately, and leave out details that are relevant to how happy we’ll actually be.

Filling In

There have been plenty of scientific studies that show that our memories are not reliable representations of what actually happened in the past.

Instead of storing perfect records of past events like, say, a video recording, our brains store snippets of past events in different parts of our brain and then, when we want to recall a memory, our brain finds those fragments and reconstructs them to build the memory.

Whatever isn’t actually there gets filled in by the imagination and there’s the rub – sometimes the things that our imagination uses to fill in the gaps didn’t actually happen. Then the brain restores that memory back with the newly fabricated information. Which is why you can get 100 different versions of an event from 100 different people at that event.

This fabrication, Gilbert points out, happens so quickly and effortlessly that we no idea what’s happening – we just believe that whatever we just pulled up in our minds is an accurate representation of the event.

Now, let’s think about our future predictions. How happy will you be next week if your best friend asks you to go to a party with them?

As your imagination gets to work trying to answer this for you, some interesting things happen. If you are like most people, you start to fill in details about the party – where it will be, who will be there, what food and drink there will be and you’ll use those details to start making predictions about how happy you’ll be.

The problem is that your imagination went through this entire process of filling in details before you even know what they were and you start to make choices based on your (probably inaccurate) predictions.

The thing to understand here is that your brain does the exact same thing when you are thinking about more important things in your life, like what job you should take and where you should live.

Leaving Out

Just as we fail to consider how much our imagination fills in when we are thinking about the future, we also fail to consider how much it leaves out.

For instance, when most people are asked how they would feel two years after the sudden death of their eldest child, they suggest that they would be totally devastated, wouldn’t be able to get out of bed in the morning and would perhaps consider committing suicide.

As Gilbert points out, nobody who gets asked this question ever considers the other things that would happen in those following two years – attending another child’s play, making love with their spouse or reading a book while taking in a spectacular sunset.

This is an extreme example, but it illustrates the point that our imagination almost never captures the entire story.

Shortcoming #2 – Presentism: Projecting the Present onto the Future

This shortcoming is a bit easier to explain. Basically, our imaginations are not as imaginative as we believe them to be.

Basically, we tend to fill in holes in the future with data from the present. We anticipate that whatever is going on right now is what will be going on in the future.

For instance, once you’ve stuffed your belly full at a holiday meal, you have a hard time imagining that you’ll ever be hungry again. We fail to see that our future selves will view the world any differently than we view it now.

Or when scientists are asked to make predictions about the future, they almost always err by predicting that the future will be too much like the present. Respected scientists are on record as saying that human beings would never experience space travel, television sets, microwave ovens, heart transplants and nuclear power.

The tendency to project the present into the future ensures that we have a really hard time imaging a future where we will think, want or feel differently than we do now.

One of the more interesting findings from the entire book is that how we think we’ll feel in the future is determined quite heavily by how we feel right now, even if what’s happening right now has nothing to do with what will happen in the future. For instance, when you are having one of those days where everything seems to go wrong, you’ll be much less likely to predict being happy about the get together you have planned with your friends the following week.

Without realising it, how you are feeling in the moment has a huge bearing on how you’ll be able to predict your future happiness and, to top it off, you have no idea that it’s happening.

Shortcoming #3 – Rationalization: Things look differently after they happen

Rationalisation is defined as “the act of causing something to be or to seem reasonable.”

We all have a psychological immune system that protects us against all sorts of emotional upsets. Like all of the other mechanisms we’ve been describing up until this point, it operates without us realising it’s there.

The end result is that we, as Gilbert describes, “cook the facts.” Here’s a quick description of a study Gilbert did in order to explain.

A set of experiment subjects were invited to a fake job interview that they thought was real. In the pre-interview, they were (in the middle of a bunch of other questions) asked how they would feel on a scale from 1-10 if they didn’t get the job. When they didn’t get the job (because that was the whole point of the experiment), they didn’t feel quite as bad as they thought they would. In fact, after a short period of time they were just as happy as when the went in to the interview.

Basically, the finding of all of these studies is that our psychological immune system kicks in to protect us from negative experiences, with three caveats.

First, the negative event needs to reach a certain pain threshold. For instance, it will kick in when you are being rejected at a job interview, but not as much if you stub your toe.

Second, it will only kick in once it’s clear that we can’t change the experience. For example, people experience an increase in happiness when genetic tests show that they don’t have a dangerous genetic defect (as expected) or when the tests reveal that they do have one, but not if the results are inconclusive.

Third, we have a much easier time rationalising actions that we have taken rather than inaction.

The end result is that we fail to realise our ability to generate a positive view of our current circumstances and thus forget that we’ll do the same in the future. Ultimately leading us to not accurately predict how happy we’ll be in the future.

The Solution: Asking Others Experiencing It Right Now

As Gilbert points out, most of what we know is not based on our own direct experience, but on second hand knowledge. You’ll find this to be true if you make a list of all the things you know and go line by line marking it firsthand or secondhand.

We believe and put our faith in many things that we have learned secondhand, but when it comes to deciding what will make us happy, we stubbornly rely on our “nexting” mechanism in almost every case. As we’ve already learned, that strategy doesn’t lead to good outcomes. We forget how good or bad things were in the past because of our selective and unstable memories and then we project those memories into the future to make inaccurate predictions on how we’ll feel then.

This is the point in the summary where we discuss the advice that Gilbert suggests we’ll most likely not take.

By far the most accurate way to determine whether or not a certain future state will make you happy is to ask somebody who is experiencing it right now.

Do you want to know what it will be like to move to a foreign country and leave your family and friends behind? Ask somebody who just did it. Want to find out how you’ll feel about it 10 years from now? Ask somebody who moved 10 years ago.

As Gilbert says, the human race is like a living library of information about what it feels like to do just about anything that can be done. All you need to do is ask.

There are studies that show that when people are forced to use surrogates to determine how happy they will be about a specific imagined future, they make very accurate predictions about their future feelings.

So why do we reject the solution? Because we don’t like to think of ourselves like the average person. Maybe other people are bad at predicting their future happiness, but not me. As you might have guessed, that’s what EVERYBODY says. So while you are busy rejecting the solution because you are unique, you are merely confirming that you are exactly like everybody else.

The biggest mistake we make, Gilbert suggests, is that we don’t make very good predictions about how happy accumulating more “stuff” will make us.

There is a mountain of evidence that beyond a certain level of wealth, it makes little to no difference in the level of happiness you experience. Yet we keep striving for more.

The problem is that the entire market economy system depends on people continually buying and producing more and more stuff. As Gilbert points out, if everyone was content with the amount of stuff they had, the economy would grind to a halt.

So, the next time you find yourself about the pull the trigger on that big splurge purchase, consider finding somebody who did the same and ask them how much happiness it added to their life beyond the initial jolt of excitement.

You might be surprised at the results.

Hope you enjoyed this summary 🙂

P.S. I need a business coach (willing to train [at my expense] the right individual with some get up and go / sales/ marketing prowess) to facilitate demand for my coaching business. If you, or someone you know, is interested, please click for more information

Book Summary of ‘Mastery’ by Robert Greene

This book is about creating the life you want through the pursuit of mastery. It’s about becoming the best in your chosen craft and finding inspiration from the masters throughout history.

Mastery, at it’s core, is the feeling we have when we have a great command of reality, other people and ourselves.

By studying the masters throughout history – like Leonardo da Vinci, Napoleon Bonaparte, Charles Darwin, Martha Graham, and others – Robert Greene has found that at the root of mastery is a simple process and it’s accessible to all of us.

Join me as I explore that process and explore strategies for moving through this process in the most powerful way possible.

1. Discovering Your Calling

According to Greene, in seach of us is an inner force guiding us towards our Life’s Task – what we are meant to accomplish in our time on earth.

In childhood, this was clear to us, even if we didn’t understand it. We were drawn to some activities and subjects and we had a natural and deep curiosity about those things. However, as life moves on, we start to lose that force. We listen to our parents, friends and teachers and gradually shift towards what the world expects from us. In the process we lose touch with our inner force.

So, whether you are just beginning your career or you are nearing the end of it, the first step toward mastery is to look inward and reconnect with that force. When we do that, everything else starts to fall into place.

Strategies for finding this “life task”

  1. Return to your origins: what were you obsessed with when you were younger? This is where you’ll start to find clues that will lead you to your life’s task.
  2. Occupy the perfect niche: find the combination of your natural interests and a niche that you can dominate.
  3. Avoid the false path: money, fame and making our parents happy are all paths towards an unfulfilling life.
  4. Let go of the past: if you are in a career that doesn’t fit your life’s path, find a way out. Just because you invested time and money into it, doesn’t mean you should keep doing it.
  5. Find your way back: you’ll be pulled off your path in your journey towards mastery. Make sure to keep finding your way back.

2. Submit to Reality: The Ideal Apprenticeship

After your formal education, you are entering the most critical phase of your life – the apprenticeship phase. As Greene points out, every time you change careers or acquire a new skill set, you re-enter this phase.

This is where you’ll master the skills you need to succeed and where you’ll transform yourself into an independent thinker, preparing you for the creative challenges you’ll face on your path to mastery.

An apprenticeship can take many forms – working with a master in the field, graduate school, or working different jobs within a field. The important thing to remember is that you are the only one who can direct this phase – nobody is going to do it for you.

Strategies for Completing the Ideal Apprenticeship

  1. Value learning over money: in the apprenticeship phase, learning is always worth more than money.
  2. Keep expanding your horizons: whenever you find yourself settling into some circle of people or thought, force yourself to shake things up and look for new challenges.
  3. Revert to a feeling of inferiority: as soon as you tell yourself you already know something, the learning stops. Always have a beginners mind.
  4. Trust the process: the path to mastery takes time. Keep learning and working in your field with as much energy as you can muster.
  5. Move toward resistance and pain: this is always where the growth is.
  6. Apprentice yourself in failure: failures are the best opportunities for learning and growth.
  7. Combine the “how” and the “what”: always strive for a deep understanding of how everything works in your chosen field.
  8. Advance through trial and error: try out as many different paths as you can to get to your ultimate destination. Trial and error is the only way to break new ground.

3. Absorb the Master’s Power: The Mentor Dynamic

According to Greene, the mentor-protege relationship is the most efficient form of learning.

If you pick the right mentor, they will know where to focus your attention and how to challenge you to grow. In the process, their knowledge and experience become yours.

Strategies for Deepening the Mentor Dynamic

  1. Choose a mentor according to your needs and inclination: make sure you choose one that connects with your Life’s Path and that suits your current needs.
  2. Gaze deep into the mentor’s mirror: as Greene says, we should strive to get the sharpest dose of reality possible from our mentor. Welcome criticism as an opportunity for growth.
  3. Transfigure their ideas: as you learn from your mentor, don’t simply copy their ideas. Make them into your own by thinking for yourself.
  4. Create a back and forth dynamic: always make it clear what you are looking for from your mentor, and push back on them when necessary. This is the mentality that true masters adopt.

4. See People as they Are: Social Intelligence

One of the biggest obstacles in the pursuit of mastery comes from the emotions we have to face with as we deal with other people. Quite often we misread the intentions of other people and react in ways that cause confusion or conflict.

Social intelligence is the ability to see people for what they are in the most realistic light possible. If we can learn to focus deeply on others, get adept at reading their behaviors and understanding their motivations, we can keep ourselves on the path to mastery.

If we don’t do these things, we have not achieved true mastery and whatever success we have achieved will be fleeting.

Strategies for Acquiring Social Intelligence

  1. Speak through your work: your work should demonstrate an understanding and caring for the people you are serving.
  2. Craft the appropriate persona: people will judge you based on your outward appearance. You must consciously mold these appearances, creating an image that suits you, so that you can control people’s judgements and allow you to focus on your work.
  3. See yourself as others see you: get comfortable being honest about your flaws. Start by reviewing past events that didn’t go well and looking for your contributions to them.
  4. Suffer fools gladly: fools are a part of life and you can either deal with them productively (by ignoring them) or unproductively (by letting them absorb your time and attention).

5. Awaken the Dimensional Mind: The Creative-Active

As you accumulate more skills and start to internalise the rules that govern your field, your natural inclination will be to seek ways to use your newfound knowledge in ways that suit you.

However, you are likely to feel anxious and insecure about doing that, preferring to stick with applying what you learned only in the ways in which you learned it.

To continue on the path to mastery, you must fight through this anxiety and expand your knowledge to related fields and in the process make new connections between different ideas.

As you do this, you’ll start to see more and more of reality around you and in the end, bring you to new heights of power.

Strategies for the Creative-Active Phase

  1. The Authentic Voice: finding your voice takes time. Sometimes it take years to absorb the techniques and conventions of your field, but if you don’t take the time to master them and personalise them, you’ll never find your authentic voice.
  2. The Fact of Great Yield: be on the lookout for things that have profound ramifications to your field.
  3. Mechanical Intelligence: whatever you are creating or designing, you must test and use it yourself. In doing this work, you see and feel the flaws in the design. This craftsmanship involves creating something with an elegant, simple structure, getting the most out of your materials — a high form of creativity.
  4. Natural Powers: creativity takes time, and you should give your self the ability to explore a wide variety of fields as you search for big insights. In this stage, slowness is a virtue.
  5. The Open Field: by taking all of the knowledge and skills you have created so far on your journey and applying them against the conventions that currently pervade your industry, you can find the proverbial white space.
  6. The High End: if your work ever starts to feel stale or boring, return to the larger purpose that put you on this path in the first place.
  7. The Evolutionary Hijack: creativity and adaptability are inseparable. We must learn to take what we experience and move with the opportunities that present themselves in the moment.
  8. Dimensional Thinking: instead of trying to boil down your field into simplifications and abstractions, you look at your field from as many different angles as possible, giving your thoughts added dimensions. This makes the process more complicated, but ultimately leads you close to the truth.
  9. Alchemical Creativity and the Unconscious: by looking for contradictions – both in the world and within yourself – you’ll find a rich mine of information that is deeper and more complex than you ever thought possible.

6. Fuse the Intuitive with the Rational: Mastery

By immersing ourselves in our field of study for many years, we start to develop an intuitive feel for the complicated components of our field.

When we combine this intuitive thinking with rational processes, we find ourselves expanding our minds to the outer limits of our potential.

This is where we finally achieve true mastery.

Strategies for Attaining Mastery

  1. Connect to your environment — Primal Powers: The ability to connect deeply to your environment is the most primal and in many ways the most powerful form of mastery the brain can bring us. In order achieve this, we must become powerful observers of the world around us.
  2. Play to your strengths — Supreme Focus: Mastery – Greene points out – is like swimming. It’s too difficult to move forward when we are creating our own resistance or swimming against the current. Know your strengths and move with them.
  3. Transform yourself through practice — The Fingertip Feel: practice and the thousands of hours we need to invest doing it, is critical to our success. Embrace the transformative powers we gain through practice.
  4. Internalise the Details — The Life Force: your path to mastery must include the ability to extend your knowledge as far as possible by absorbing all of the details you possibly can.
  5. Widen Your Vision — The Global Perspective: As Greene points out, in any competitive environment in which there are winners or losers, the person who has the wider, more global perspective will inevitably prevail.
  6. Submit to the Other — The Inside Out Perspective: our natural tendency is to project onto other people our own beliefs and value systems. We must combat this by continuing to expose ourselves to other people and attempt to see things as they see them.
  7. Synthesise all forms of knowledge — The Universal Man/Woman: we should seek to have our mastery not over this subject or that subject, but ultimately on the connections between them, based on decades of deep observation and thinking.

Hope you found this useful. Until next time…

P.S. I need a business coach (willing to train [at my expense] the right individual with some get up and go / sales/ marketing prowess) to facilitate demand for my coaching business. If you, or someone you know, is interested, please click for more information

Book Summary of ‘The Upside of Stress’ by Kelly McGonigal

Stress is bad for you, right?

As Kelly McGonigal tells us in this fascinating book, the research that scientists have done on stress tell a slightly different story.

As it turns out, whether or not stress is harmful has a lot to do with how you view it.

Consider the following research findings comparing people who view stress as harmful to people who view stress an enhancing.

People who believe stress is enhancing are less depressed and more satisfied with their lives than people who view stress as harmful. They have more energy and less health issues. They are more productive at work and are happier doing it. They also have a greater confidence in their ability to cope with challenges and even find meaning in difficult circumstances.

That’s a pretty long list of benefits just for changing your mind about what stress means to you.

Join me as I explore what stress actually is and how you can completely change your relationship with it.

You might even learn how to harness the stress in your life to create a more meaningful, fulfilling life.

Let’s get started.

What is stress?

We first need to start with an understanding of what stress actually is. When you are feeling stress, your body releases cortisol and adrenaline.

From an evolutionary perspective, this stress response is designed to help you, but – like stress in general – it is more feared than appreciated. We’ve come to associate stress as toxic a state which we should try to minimise as much as possible.

However, as we’ll describe as we work our way through this book, your stress response is a resource to rely on rather than an enemy to eliminate.

How stress got a bad name

We won’t spend much time on this section. Basically, a scientist by the name of Hans Selye did a lot of stress research in the 1930s and 40s that showed that stress caused negative physical reactions.

He became known as the Grandfather of Stress and was nominated for the Nobel Prize ten times, and devoted his life to spreading the word about his research, leading us all to believe that stress is toxic.

The problem is that all of his research was performed on rats and in situations that bear little resemblance to everyday human stress.

This is what a typical day looked like for one of Selye’s lab rats. You’d start off with unpredictable, uncontrollable shocks. Then you’d get thrown in a bucket of water and forced to swim until you started to drown. Then, finally, you’d get put into an overcrowded cage with other rats where you would fight over an inadequate supply of food.

That, McGonigal rightly points out, isn’t stress – that’s the Hunger Games for rodents.

Nonetheless, Selye made the leap from rats to humans, and from torture to every day stress and voila – we all developed a negative view about stress.

So now you have a negative mindset about stress

In recent surveys, the American Psychological Association has found that most people in America perceive their personal levels of stress as unhealthy.

These people believe that experiencing stress:

  • depletes their health and vitality
  • debilitates their performance and productivity
  • inhibits their learning and growth
  • is negative and should be avoided.

People who have this mindset about stress are much more likely to say that they cope with stress by trying to avoid it. They are more likely to:

  • Try to distract themselves from the cause of the stress instead of dealing with it.
  • Focus on getting rid of their feelings of stress instead of taking steps to address its source.
  • Turn to alcohol or other substances or addiction to escape the stress.
  • Withdraw their energy and attention from whatever relationship, role or goal is causing the stress.

Obviously, this reinforces the belief that stress is bad and should be avoided at all costs.

However, as we turn our attention towards the benefits of embracing stress, we’ll find a much different story emerges.

Changing from a negative mindset to a positive one

As it turns out, you have a choice about how you respond to stress. Victor Frankl described this as the space between stimulus and response.

A minority of people in the general population believe that stress enhances their lives. These people believe that experiencing stress:

  • enhances their performance and productivity
  • improves their health and vitality
  • facilitates their learning and growth
  • is positive and should be utilised.

Where people with a negative mindset towards stress try to cope with stress, people with a positive mindset towards stress try to use it to their advantage. They are much more likely to:

  • Accept the fact that the stressful event has occurred and is real.
  • Plan a strategy for dealing with the source of stress.
  • Seek information, help, or advice.
  • Take steps to overcome, remove, or change the source of stress.
  • Try to make the best of the situation by viewing it in a more positive way or by using it as an opportunity to grow.

So, just by creating a positive mindset about stress, you can turn self-doubt into confidence, fear into courage, and isolation into connection.

All without getting rid of the stress.

Which begs the question, how do you change your mind about stress?

The insight from the research is that you get what you expect. If you expect stress to be a negative experience, that’s exactly what you will get. If you expect it to be a positive experience, that’s exactly what you’ll get.

There is evidence for this in a lot of different areas of your life. For instance, how you think about getting older has some serious consequences for you later in life. People who have a positive view of aging add an average of 8 years to their life, and have an 80% lower risk of a heart attack.

Your mindset not only helps you in the moment, but also influences you to make better decisions in the future, leading to better outcomes. It’s as though mindset matters twice.

Now let’s turn our attention to the three different ways that your new positive mindset about stress will help you lead a more productive and fulfilling life.

Stress helps you engage

In this section we’ll focus on how you can transform a threat into a challenge.

Our common reaction to stress is to avoid it and the most common advice you get when do deal with stress in the moment is to “calm down.” Basically, you should find a way to get rid of the stress.

However, viewing the stress response as a resource can transform the physiology of fear into the biology of courage. The stress response does a number of things that will help you perform well under pressure.

It focuses your attention, heightens your senses, increases your motivation, and mobilises energy. This is true even when the stress doesn’t feel helpful, which is the case when people experience anxiety.

When you start to feel your heart pounding or your breath quickening, remember that this is your body’s way of trying to give you more energy. When you start to feel tension in your body, remember that the stress response gives you access to your strength. Are your palms sweaty? Good, that means you are close to something that you want. Do you have butterflies in your stomach? Embrace them – it’s your guts way of saying that this is something that matters.

If you take the traditional advice and try to calm down, you are preventing yourself from accessing the energy, strength and drive that the stress gives you. So, instead of trying to take a deep breathe to try and calm down, take a deep breath and sense the energy that’s available to you.

Then, use it. Ask yourself what action you can take that is consistent with your goal in this moment.

Connect: How tending and befriending transforms stress

In this section we’ll focus on how you can activate your “tend-and-befriend” response to better deal with stress.

From an evolutionary perspective, we have this “tend-and-befriend” response to make sure we protect our offspring. Rather than get paralysed with fear (and let our offspring get eaten by that lion), we spring into action.

It does so because it increases activity in three systems in your brain.

First, it activates the social caregiving system, which is regulated by oxytocin. When this happens you feel more empathy, connection and trust.

Second, it activates the reward system, which releases the neurotransmitter dopamine. When this happens you feel more optimistic about your ability to do something meaningful, and it primes your brain for physical action, ensuring that you don’t freeze under pressure.

And third, it activates the attunement system, which releases to neurotransmitter serotonin. When this happens, your perception, intuition and self-control are all enhanced to ensure that the actions you take have the biggest positive impact.

In other words, as McGonigal points out, the tend-and-befriend response makes you social, brave and smart. Which is a much better response than trying to avoid dealing with whatever is causing you stress.

So, when you are feeling overwhelmed, look for opportunities to do something for somebody else that goes beyond your regular responsibilities.

Fair warning – your brain is going to tell you that you don’t have the time or energy to do it, but that’s exactly why you should. The good news is that small gestures work just as well as grand gestures to activate this response, so just get into action rather than waiting for the perfect moment to do something big.

Grow: how adversity makes you stronger

In this last section we’ll focus on how stress can actually help you learn and grow.

As McGonigal points out, the idea that we grow through adversity is not new. It’s embodied in the teachings of every major religion.

The science shows that plenty good can come from stressful or traumatic experiences. Here is a partial list of some of the positive changes that are commonly reported in cases of hardship, loss or trauma:

  • A sense of personal strength;
  • Increased appreciation for life;
  • Spiritual growth;
  • Enhanced social connections and relationships with others;
  • Identifying new possibilities and life directions.

The important part, McGonigal explains, is that the good that comes from difficult experiences isn’t from the event itself – it comes from you.

What it requires is for you to look back on the difficult experiences from your past, and to reflect on the positive changes that came from them. Then, when you are faced with future stressful situations, you’ll be able to recall how you were able to overcome them in the past to help you overcome them in the moment.

This creates a growth-mindset towards adversity.

Ultimately, if you are trying to do big things in your life (the fact that you are listening to this would suggest that’s the case), you are going to face adversity. Lots of it.

How you choose to deal with it is up to you. One path leads to growth and the fulfilment of your goals, and the other leads you despair and inaction.

And when you look at it that way, there really is only one choice.

Hope you found this useful 🙂

P.S. I need a business coach (willing to train [at my expense] the right individual with some get up and go / sales/ marketing prowess) to facilitate demand for my coaching business. If you, or someone you know, is interested, please click for more information

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